How To Live With Relationship Laws That Will Ever Remain Worrisome

by Benson Agoha | Opinion

Let me say from the outset that I am not gay and the use of the flag is not a sign of my support for same-sex relationships. I am not attracted to fellow men and doubt if I ever will.

The recent approval by the highest legislative body in the United States has ruffled, and perhaps will continue to ruffle feathers. But at least, like civil rights, every American is now aware, if ever they were in doubt, of the inclusive nature of their constitution.

The process of promulgating a new law in a democratic society is a rigorous one which often tasks the mental and moral state of the members of the legislature, who often find they would have to make concessions, accommodate desires, make counter demands and or resort to compromises in order for a bill to sail through the final stage.

So it is a little surprising that President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe would have reacted so emotionally over such bill when passed.

The line "EVEN SATAN WASN’T GAY" justified by its compliment .. "he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam" was credited to the Zimbabwean President and appear very convincing - but only until you pay closer attention to the issue.

We now understand how subjective humanity often become when defending values to which they have clung so tenaciously over a long time.

Masturbation: the ashes of Vesuvius
caught and preserved a man in the
act of masturbation.
(Credit: via Wiki)

Meanwhile even before President Mugabe's marriage proposal, Linda Barnette, a US Marriage Licence Officer dignifyingly resigned because of the new law - perhaps to saturate her conscience over an issue she knew she could never reconcile with.

Even for Christians, it may not be lost on many that the world has never and may never agree on certain issues that bother on values, including religion and its by-subjects of which same-sex relationship is one.

But same sex relationships are not new. In fact, if there is one legacy from the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79AD, it is a reminder that some of the issues we would be faced with in years to come are not new, but have been embedded in society through culture and traditions that have survived the better of several thousand years - whether partially or generally embraced.

Bestiality: a man indulging himself
 with an animal was caught in the act
and preserved for posterity.
(Credit: via Wiki)

So when the Italian cities Pompeii and Herculaneum were eventually rediscovered, and later recovered from under the many tons of pumice and volcanic ashes of Vesuvius, archaeologists confirmed what existing scrolls already tell them about events from ancient times. 

They discovered, for example, evidence of masturbation, bestiality and same-sex relationships. In fact, they discovered that all vices that we have in present day, date back to ancient times. And they discovered also that ancient rulers have always had to worry about the same issues, when searching for ways to exercise peaceful rule over their communities.

In Imperium, Robert Harris, masterfully told a story of Cicero (albeit fictional), through the narrator of his Secretary Tiro, who under the instruction of Cicero himself wrote down for the benefit of posterity, a semblance of true account of how men of politics and power grappled with the task of promulgating, adjudicating and implementing the law within an organised society.  Placed in perspective, anyone can soon see the reverberation of the same issues.

Men can't usually tell if a woman is sleeping with one or several men a day until she becomes, and perhaps chooses to keep her pregnancy. And the only difference between the attitude of ancient and present day societies towards issues such as same sex relationship is that of openness. In one, perpetrators were more discreet, in another, they are now more open.

Though a Christian, I have chosen not to argue this issue from the point of view of religion for personal reasons, but at the same time, I recognise that even if I do, it just might not be changing anything.

As it stands today, same-sex relationships will ever remain selectively worrisome and never generally acceptable because it is an issue strongly entrenched on `values'. Even in the United States, it seems it will remain debatable whether it makes the union more perfect, even though no one will contest the underlying reason for its promulgation.

Imagine that for thousands of years humanity never managed to solve the mystery behind one of the most common issues facing the family, yet everyone is affected by it. The declaration by the US Supreme Court that "love is love" is much like Einstein solving the mystery of Relativity - it was always with us but we never managed to understand why whatever goes up, comes crashing down.

See the progress we have made since Einstein's discovery? Now watch the progress we will make from now - but we must keep an open mind. In this regard, anyone inclined to same-sex relationship must be open, direct and honest about it when meeting new people so that people are neither offended nor taken advantage of.

If Love is Love, at least, it is not by any means blind. Therefore, every transgender person must, for the same purpose, reveal themselves before having sexual relationship with strangers.

Consider! Why tell a man who would never imagine bedding a fellow man, that you were a man before you changed to a woman, if it comes only after you have had sexual intercourse with him. It smirks of disrespect an amounts to fraudulent behaviour, and many a man would kill for such dubious conduct.

Human society may have evolved, but it has always been multi-dichotomous and poly-autonomous and in the end, thrives in ambiguity of perspectives. The only perfect glue holding the world together appears to be the acknowledgement that we will always disagree to agree or vice versa.

So the future belongs to societies that understand the principles of inclusiveness in diversity.

What do you think?

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* Culled from Leadership Lane.